after this.

2009-09-10T15:26:00.000+08:00

http://regretsandgoodbyes.onsugar.com/ relink me :)

2009-09-09T18:45:00.002+08:00

im really losing the vibe to blog. the boredom is really eating me up. badly. i cant wait for work on friday.

and my fucking laptop refuses to let me change my ppassword and now ive no access to webmail. knnbccbxzxzzxz.

help anyone!!

2009-09-08T21:31:00.003+08:00

im taking a step back. for im putting myself in your trust again my love. my faith for you.

no mood to blog today. ps. i live in a room too small with too many things.

2009-09-07T18:53:00.003+08:00

okay. now we all know ice has a awfully huge nose! haha! :) miss annoying him much. awwwww~

ive finally done smth useful today! packed my room :) and when im done packing im gna paint my room pink!!!! yes yes yes! im so looking forward to it :) im only working on thurs and fri this week which means ive tons of time to pack my rooommm.

kkkkay. BAI BAI FOR NAW.

2009-09-06T18:45:00.002+08:00

im not looking forward to the up coming week at all. but i totally love the lazy days. and ive decided i will start packing my room next week (:

the more i talk to you the more heartbroken i become. this is bad. as much as i do want things to be like bfore but now i think everytime i talk to you i sink deeper into pain.

and to the one that finally decided to fuck me out of her life, please fuck off! i dont need you bitch!

every broken heart will be mend eventually.

2009-09-05T23:17:00.001+08:00

http://sticky.com.sg/ they have the best damn handmade candy. i swear! and its freaking affordable as well. okay i bought 8 bucks worth of candy and a glass container. im so in love with it :)

hahaha. thank god i still have her around :) my best cousin ever. love her long long time. love the part we went around chinatown looking like tourists. haha! i cant wait for the visits for the list of museum we have drawn out. haha!

2009-09-04T14:46:00.003+08:00

finally the week is amost over. im better alr, thou my nose is still being a bitch. till now i havent done anything constructive and meaningful yet. i need to do smth to my life. im just very very tired of this boring life.

now chant *grow hair grow*

p.s i put on a good 2kg. kill me somebody. baibai.

2009-09-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

since i missed anberlin on baybeats this year.

2009-09-02T19:58:00.003+08:00

yes im ill again. this is bad. im falling ill like every month? omg. bad block nose, bad throat, all due to my lovely wisdom tooth :( fml.

anws, im sick and no mood to entertain whatever shit that is going on in your life. my life is equally fucked up as well. ive done my part in telling you whatever i want. its up to you what you wna do next. you wna go back to your old life and tell me in another 6 months time i will ask you to fuck off far far. okay enough is enough. and i really miss you.

the week aint that bad. work work and more work. met up with ahben on teacher's dat hols for pepper lunch at amk. the fred perry man. hahah!

2009-08-31T21:43:00.002+08:00

i seriously need anger management. im losing my pathetic miserable fuckign bad temper. im not happy about how like is now. its damn fuckign irritating.

and to mum.

PLEASE STOP WHINNING YOUR ASS OFF. ITS SERIOUSLY IRRITATING ME, YES PACK MY ROOM I KNOW! BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN WHINNING AND WHINNING ABOUT IT. DAMN IT. SO SHUT THE HELL UP.I KNOW WHAT TO DO. AND DONT EVER SAY "NOW OUR HOUSE GOT GHOST AH, CANNOT STAY HOME" KNN OH! I DIN KNOW I DONT EXIST FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. CB.IF IM NOT AT HOME WHAT IS IT THAT YOU SEE. AND IM NOT OBLIGED TO WALK ALL THE WAY TO NORTHLAND PRI TO PICK THAT MISERABLE SIS OF MINE HOME. FYI IF YOU HAVEN T REALISEM I REALLY HATE IT. I HATE WALKING ALL THE WAY THERE. AND IM NOT BOTHERED ANYMORE.

see what i mean by i need anger management? bloody hell. yes. im a angry and miserable 18 year old kid.

2009-08-31T18:50:00.001+08:00

i really am not happy about this.

2009-08-30T22:11:00.002+08:00

as you cansee xueli and i has been basically doing nothing at work. okay we do! but business been running low these few days so its cam-whore time! hahahha! lulu says i look like a doll. awesomeeeee.

ask me what ive been doing recently, im gna tell you now, nothing but nua and nua all day. seriously i need ANOTHER part time job. im like fcking bored. and i need more monehhhh, theres like one thousand and one thing on my wish list now. but im so broke. damnit.

anws,im back to me. the one im comfortable with. the old one.. now ive found it again. love me people again. for once, i feel like me in my skin. look into my eyes and i will mak you cry.

love louisa

2009-08-28T15:41:00.003+08:00

the people that ive been dearly missing. even though its only the first week. hais. meet up soon mylovessssssss. okay im sorry sean, thats like the only pic ive of you. hahah!

2nd post of the day. ive no life. officially. okay timw to prepare for work. bai bai.

2009-08-28T12:52:00.003+08:00

now im very much tempted to get this watch :))))))))

actually im really enjoying the hols. sleping till late afternoon. online at this time blogging. at the very least i get to spend more quality time with mum. but soon sis will joining in the no life society, her miserable week of hols is coming. hahah!

i miss the girls already. :( i cant imagine a new sem with new faces. then i will have to start all over again. :(

2009-08-27T22:26:00.002+08:00

so now what? blogger refuse to let me upload photos :( damn it.

okay i officailly hate the hols. all i do the entire day is sleep till 11plus plus plus in the morning. pick sis up from sch.lunch and nua all the way unless ive got work. :( what kind of bloody life im leading. knn. 5 bloody weeks of hols. kill me please someone. and when is ut3's result coming out?

and i think he is cute:) opps.

and billy billy. i dont know if our baybeats date is still on. i got some funny family thing going on. but i'll try kay? love you long long time.

2009-08-26T22:22:00.002+08:00

im so like gna die of stress. like seriously. im praying damn hard that things will go my way. im praying damn damn hard.

PLEASE. SOMEONE SAVE ME.AND CALM ME DOWN. AND TELL ME THAT NOTHING IS GNA HAPPEN! I DONT WANT TO BE GROUNDED FOR ETERNITY BY MUM.

6 WEEKS OF HOLS. finally started, im not lookign forward to it at all. execpt for the class chalet part. other than that no! ive never been a fan for hols. boring shit. and moreover ive got no work in the day, all my shift starts in the evening. omg! anyone has work lobang for 6 weeks. i need it badly :(

i think i willbe away from the virtual world for quite sometime. so if theres anything. just leave me a text aite?

2009-08-26T22:03:00.002+08:00

the devil wears prada. hahah! new album. with credits to sean for spamming me with all the songs again. :))

2009-08-25T22:36:00.002+08:00

we are the talllllll poepleeeeeee :)

love this people. although its not the complete. but theyre still the best.

2009-08-24T22:27:00.000+08:00

videos from sean's band gig. which i din manage to attend. hhahaha!

2009-08-24T21:05:00.002+08:00

this is the bunch of people that i will be missing big time :( and tmr will be last day we will spend together s a class. more peektures aites :)

p.s i look like a ass in this peekture. knn.

2009-08-21T21:48:00.002+08:00

this is a must watch this season! :)) people please look forward to this.

love the clique long long time. the photos aint with me. i only have this few that i manage to snap. but its awesome. love them long time.

2009-08-20T22:39:00.002+08:00

who says 18 is sweet. nothing is ever sweet in my life. and eighteen doesnt mean anything at all.

2009-08-19T15:50:00.002+08:00

You can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds
Watching yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed

So for those of you falling in love keep it kind
Keep it good
Keep it right
Throw yourself in the midst of danger but keep one eye open at night

its another night i spent saoking my bed with tears. flooding my mind with misery.
nighfall is the best times. no one to tell me to stop doing this stop doing that.
its just me and my bed. nothing else.
keeping  myself away from the miserable world of mine.

daytime. when misery and self-pity takes over me.
everytime i see you, its like someone poked a thousand pins into my heart as much as i
dont want to see your smiles but every partof yu reminds me of the things we shared.
someone pull me out of this please.

ran out of tears eventually. everything is worst when icant even cry. satan is really
taking over me.

end this please, somebody.

i had enough of myself.
fuck off louisa.

2009-08-18T14:30:00.002+08:00

16 weeks flew past in a blink of an eye. the 16 weeks we spend together will stay forever in me. the fights we had, the laughter we shared, everything will remain as memories now. i would say 16 weeks is a short time spent but i do think we did bond as a class in someways. and the most lovely clique of all times, love you people long long time. like said all good things do come to an end. lets just leave all the memories within us. look forward to the chalet people! :))

and now its time for me to whine. knnbccb. you dont have to scream at me when answering my question. knn. all i did was to give you a suggestion about the fugly poster your team did. it seriously made no sense at all. why cant you take the fucking suggestion in and shut the fuck up! if a fucking egoistic person like me can, why not you? friend, i dont know you anymore. everything is a mess right now. and im not gna do anything about it. i cant in a sense. if i do everything will me in a mess once again and at thins point i cannot afford to let myself get distracted. i know my doings made me lost a friend but if you cant take what i say and my feelings then im sorry im not the firend that youre looking for. perhaps ive judge the wrong person. the person i knew was never like this. and now all i see is just someone i never knew, a stranger to me. someone explain to me whats happening, because of you, everything has become so awkward. i dont know what more i can say. im still here if you ever need a person to talk to. which i dont think you would considering the current situation.

i just want you to know smth, i still cherish you as a friend at the very least i know i do. on your part, perhaps you hate me to the core. but after all im not god i cant change your thinking and mindset on your hatred towards me. perhaps the feeling will fade off in awhile. im glad that term break is coming. i think we both need a break. so till then. till when we finally got over it and you still accept me as a friend agn.

2009-08-17T08:54:00.002+08:00

hahaha! tk bandaged kingston! hahaha! cute right?!?!? im so gna miss this class. :( another few more days. lets count down people.

i promise a longer post some time soon. haha. i need to rant.

2009-08-14T14:34:00.003+08:00

and so i survived another day. physically im surrounded by people but mentally im still standing alone. i think i pretty much got used to the mental pain alr. torture by the satan in my mind, i ave in. letting him take over my entire mind. i thank him for numbing my mind, taking away my emotions. making me less human. the way i should have been from the start.

if you ask me if ive regretted changing. i do somehow in some way. i like the old me. the one without anything to worry. no feelings. no emotions. i feel safer that way. keeping myself inside not letting anyone else in. the way i really am. guess now im back.

the holidays are near. im thinking of a destination. genting? tioman? port dickson? malacca? fishing trip at kelong? auzzie? i dont know man. just feel like leaving singapore for awhile. need to recharge myself before sem2 starts..

speaking of which, i cant imagine sem2. but at the very least i havent start whinning about it yet. which is a good thing.

2009-08-12T15:02:00.003+08:00

here i sat alone soaking myself in misery. nothing will be ever the same again. no matter how muchwe try to change things. what done is done. now we can just pray for school to end. and hopefully life will go back to normal.

i know for the past few post ive been ranting and ranting on my life. being a goddamn bitch and all. i cant help it okay! im only human. i wna lock myself up in my room and cry my sorrows away. im controlling my temper very well alr, dont push it further. theres a limit to everything. for me, its just that inch bit lesser.

i miss you alr. i really do. the crazy times that we share. i hate to admit it but i do misses the times you annoys the hell outta me. i miss checking my phone and find out its not you. missing the time when we have cig breaks together. drinking in sch. all the thiny bit of things that we do. time passes damn slow without you in my life. i know im to blame for the state that we are in now. all that i ask for now is for things to go back to normal. but it seems like impossible now, the damage is done. a irreversible change.

thanking you. for all the things that youve done. all the theory that you attempt to drill into my brain even tthough i always look on the dark side. for letting me see that im not the onyl one going through shits in life. for pulling me out when im sinking too deep. for being there when i need someone to whine to. for being there when every part of me is falling. really thank you.

and the ones who are still there for me.

2009-08-12T13:01:00.002+08:00

sorry, buckcherry.

retrace, anberlin

mouth shut, the veronicas.

heavily broken, the veronicas

all things i wna tell you is written in all these songs.

2009-08-11T10:27:00.003+08:00

its taking time. im over it i think. but things are still hanging. i dont know what to do anymore. im angry with myself i know. and anyone that pass my limit gets the shit from me. seeing you smile just makes my life more difficult at the end of the day i still end up crying. i dont like crying a part of me really hates it. i totally feel like a weak rag doll. whats left of me now is just a empty shell. nothing else. im tired. really.

picnic with the folks and grans on sunday. okay i was the one who came out with the idea. just wanted to do something with the fam. need the family time to distract myself.

2009-08-08T22:28:00.003+08:00

maybe i am mental. maybe i really need help. all the while i always thought i could handle all this myself guess i was wrong all the while. now its time i give up. everything is just so pointless now. everything that i said no one will believe and it wont make a difference. so whats the point of talking now.

Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care, it's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Everyday there's nothing new
And now I just try to find some hope
To try and hold onto
But it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again
It doesn't end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do?
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do
And there's nothing I can do

Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air
(Screaming for air)
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
(What can I do)
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken [x3]

2009-08-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

im not okay. never am. so ive decided to make my blog private. in case my sis finds it and run to mum and goes "jiejie is doing this doing that". damn. ive got a 11 old sis stalking on me on twitter. FML.

2009-08-07T15:17:00.003+08:00

What that is left of me is just emptiness and sorrows that runs down so deep it aches my bone.

this is to you if ou ever read my blog that is,
ive said what i want. whether you wna believe anot is really up to you. i give up. seriously. im gna fuck this feeling anws. so soon it will be over. until i settle my feelings, im never gna talk to you. let me handle my felings first. i need to get rid of it.

2009-08-06T15:08:00.006+08:00

i want to see who will still be there when there is nothing left of me.

i just added a new set to the old family that ive collected over the years. but i reckon i over did it this time round. and now i cant wear fbts for the time being. knn. chants *heal skin heal* i just needed a way to vent. cant think of any other better way :(

now yes now. kan ne nabei chao shi bai. im losing my fucking temper. this is getting out of hand.

2009-08-05T15:17:00.004+08:00

im still thinking about taking up french classes again. sis is doing jap, so i wna do smth else also!!! i need a form of distraction.

ytd was hell. firstly, i wasnt in any mood for class at all. secondly, work was damn fucked up. searched high and low for a fucking card. knn. misery loves company. i hate it. adding on i saw someone i shouldnt on my way out. fuck. everything just came back. all the fucked up moments. every cell in me was tearing apart. the misery inmed who understands? at homw i will still have to fake it all back at home.

i know all the things i said dont make any fucking sense and you feel like puking blood. im sorry. mymind wasnt think straight last night. i dont know what i can do now. i allowed my mind to take over my body. and now all my feelings are jammed up. everything is damn blur right now. i dont see whats in front of me. i dont know whats my next step, i cant see, my mind aint thinking.its the mental pain that is torturing me. oh fuck. now im so fucking pathetic that i have to vent my fucking anger on my blog. awesome.

fuck my life.

2009-08-04T14:15:00.002+08:00

i feel like blogging bcos ive nothing to do in class.

edited*

im not fine not at all. you told me i could talk to you. now what. i dont think so. youre no longer there anymore. i never wna believe in promises anymore. all the promises people made will eventually turn out the other way round. and the same goes to you, I. i hate saying this but it really feels like theres no one else in this world. the pain is excruciating, the worst part is, its mentally. maybe i do need the physical pain to get over the entire shit. but again, getting over things aint exactly my forte. not at all. S, i wish i cld just go emotionless, less harm would be done. sometimes without feelings the world would be a much better place. people wont have to fall for another soul. no one will hurt each other.

FORGET IT. IM LIVING IN SELF PITY AGAIN.

2009-08-03T11:12:00.004+08:00

and we were basically nothing after school :) love the peeps long time :) awesome im uploading photos in class again :) i abosolutely love my ribbon. cheena so what? i am. :)

expired photos from saturday. school has been damn busy. sorry for the late uploading of photos. haha! town was awesome. i was like bringing a kid around. hahaha! yes kingston small kid..

2009-08-02T21:50:00.001+08:00

I HAD ENOUGH. RECKON MY EXISTANCE IS NO LONGER OF ANY USE. NOW I SHALL TAAKE MY LEAVE.

2009-07-31T08:51:00.003+08:00

im tired. exhausted. everything is just so fucked up. whats all this about. come to think of it. im seriously one that cant deal with my own feelings, to start things off i dont even know wth is wrong with my feelings in the first place. self blame. self torture session. man its taking long. holding on to the pressure aint exactly my forte. somebody tell me what i can do to my fucking life now. i fell like some punk with nothing better to do with my fucking life. knn.

DISTANCE IS THE ONLY WAY TO LONG FOR YOUR EXISTENCE.

------------------

IT FEELS LIKE THE OLD TIMES- MYSTERIOUS, THRILLING & EXCITING, I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

2009-07-30T14:21:00.002+08:00

love this people. haha. ice is probably gna kill me for this. but ohwell. fuckit. hahaha!

happy pills last night. but im suffering the afer effects now. damnit.

2009-07-29T13:27:00.003+08:00

webcammed last night with ice. mad man! heres the screenshort from lastnight. haha! damn again i look like a ghost doll. i think he made me laugh like some mad woman. i had a nightmare last night. damn.

katjes mellow cloud marshmellow. courtesy of ice! yay! hahah. okay im mean. i just threw it at the counter when he was paying. hahaha! go try it people its damn nice! i swear. :) :) :)

i was basically doing nothing. ice is nice enough to lend me his jacket, bloddy aircon is madness lah. damn cold. and tk's shades! whooooo. i look like some housefly can. arghh. or maybe rockstar in the making. :) :) :)

school is madness. the khakis drank two times in a row already. ice drank too much i think. haha. now he is like damn tipsy. worst presentation time! i swear his tongue is like tied together. hahahhaha! sean has been drinking with us also. nice((: round 3 tmr???

2009-07-28T20:34:00.007+08:00

and so i decided to make full use of the ballon that i took the effort to bring sround and thats camwhore!!! tahda! louisa the happy ballon girl.

tk look like he is bring a small girl for some carnival.

after much attempt to make ice balance the ballon on his head he finally gave up and balanced it on his own.

my twin got the sexed up and horny face.

this is only the spray ribbon part! hahahah! wait till you see the whip cream one. damn the group hadd a damn awesome time cleaning up the mess on the entire 5th floor after that. but it was hella fun.

Like a saturday night i'll be gone
like a saturday night i'll be gone
before you knew that i was there

So you wrote it down
I'm supposed to care
Even though it's never there
Sorry if I'm not prepared
Is it hard to see the things you substitute
For me and all my thoughts of you
It's eating me alive to leave you

Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong
But so is your blank stare in lieu of this song
Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong

Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song
Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song

I'm breathing in your skin tonight
Quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes, that make me melt inside
And if it's healthier to leave you be,
May a sickness come and set me free
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me...

I’m finding my own words, my own little stage
My own epic drama, my own scripted page
I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears
Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear
From the start it was shaky and the characters rash,
A nice setting for heart ache where emotions come last
All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire
Of friendly intentions and fair-weather smiles

And I don’t wanna be, don’t wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song
Don't wanna be, don’t wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this(lieu of this)..
In lieu of this song.

like a saturday night i'll be gone
like a saturday night i'll be gone
like a saturday night i'll be gone
like a saturday night i'll be gone
before you knew that i was there

yellow card- rough draft.

i wanted to post in the version that ice sang but damn me ive no idea how to convert the damn file. arghhhhhh. dang. nevermind i will figure it out! i will! and i swear its nice and i feel like crying. damn.

2009-07-28T14:00:00.002+08:00

So we grew together,
Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,
But yet an union in partition.
A Midsummer Night's Dream, 3. 2

2009-07-28T13:06:00.002+08:00

and so i got rid of holding the ultra big mickey head ballon by making ice meet me this morning. i swear i had a damn hard time walking, boarding the train and alighting the train. fucking jc girls laugh at me when i walk in the train with the ballon last night.

and say hi to my smoking khakis. awesome people. i think im a bad friend. bad bad influence, arghhhhh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIN! FINALLY YOURE 17!!!!!!! LOVE YOU LONG TIME.

2009-07-27T23:23:00.002+08:00

oh billy billy billy! my billy goat! its damn awesome meeting you again! i havent seen you in like what eons lah! love you long time!

hahaha! ice ice baby!

teck kiang! OPPS. teeeekayyy. OPPS. tk. okay i got it right.

hi my big headed twin.

the overdues. i miising E35Q already. can we not change class?

2009-07-27T14:28:00.002+08:00

now youre not allowing me to post pictures again. shhheeeebaiii.

it sucks when i know so much and theres nothing i can do. emotions toook over me in class. the tears are over flowing. first was ed then now you. seeing two friends going through the same shit in less than two months, its really too much for me. i cant afford to lose another close friend now. be safe my friend.

my weekends were plainly spent with my bed and soaking my bed with tears. the previous week drain the hell outta me. and its hard that ive a free saturday. so i slept from 3am friday morning - 11.30am sat. 1.30pm-6.30pm. 8.30pm-9.30pm. and 12.30pm-10,30am sunday. i think i over slept explains why i said up the entire night ytd.

dear friend,

i know you are damn annoying at times and ive said alot of times that you annoys the hell outta me. but youre important to me, one of my closest friend now, i dont wna lose you now. the times when suicide was at the tip of my mind, you were there. i know im never a good friend but i think i made it clear across that im always there for you whenever you need. im always there when you need a listening ear. im not good with words but at the list i can listen. now all that is done is done. all that we can hope for now is that you make it through and nothing will happen. everything will be alright. be strong my friend. we'll pray. damn hard for you to make it through. and damn i dont wna say this but i do miss you annoying the hell outta me.

rmb we do love you.

ii'll post the pics up fb and blogger soon. the internet connection in school sucks.

2009-07-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

and now im all numb again. the second one this year. tell me what to do somebody. after all that ive done, im nothing compared to whoever that was there. i gave up. but im still here if you ever feel that you need me again.

2009-07-23T13:29:00.007+08:00

sick sick sick. my thraot is damn dry and my nose is damn blocky. arghhhh. i feel like some weak and sick cat. twice this month. tell me about it. everyone around me is like sick as well. somebody please kill the virus that has been spreading around and around and around. tk saved m life by lending me his vicks. saved my life. my cough is ridiculously bad. x.

photos! expired ones from monday i think. hahaha! see! my face can compress and stretch.

Why should I feel ashamed?
Feeling guilty at the mention of your name
Here we are again
It’s nearly perfect

2009-07-22T21:41:00.002+08:00

pretty right! i had a lovely morning. as usual met twin at khatib. seriously i need to wake up earlier and be on time. damn. i always at least 15mins late. but i totally love the rainy weather. alwats seem so peaceful. :)) awesome day in sch. although its sciance but least i learnt something.

im tired. i'll edit this post soon.

ps. i missing gummy bears.
pss. i want a new soft toy.
pss. i just created a misery club

2009-07-21T11:23:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAH. I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU DONT KILL ME WHEN YOU SEE THIS. i look like a ghost doll eh? i had an awesome night going on tour on webcam around his house. hahaha! makes me feel like i live in a bird cage.

look at my hair length. damn i do miss the long hair.v

look! joey!!!!! omg! hongkie!! i miss him lah!!!!

okay all these photos are grabbed from eve's old blog. hahhaha. now im reminising the past. i miss the times i feel damn smart in mathe lesson bcos everyone else cant do. discussing politics with mrs ranjit. brunch with eve. totally miss the mee siam, carrot cake and dumplings. last year was one of the best that i had. seriously thou there were horrible times also. but the lovely peeps are pure lovely.

fine im like falling sick again. im like a fucking total failure lah. its like what the 3rd time this month lr lahhhhhhhh. oh fml. i need to get well soon.

2009-07-20T12:39:00.009+08:00

look at the awesome cookie my cousin made!!!! its nice i tell you!!

wah wah! vintage ice cream! $1 niaaaa!!

ohmmmmmmm~

filial piety!!!!
ive no idea what is this i cant read arab.

and the both of us decided to learn how to pray in a mosque.

RAAAARRRRRRRR.

heart you long time.

hahahaha! nice. asian civilisation museum with cousin. know he best part? rp being a member a the museum i didnt have to pay! cousin had to pay $2.50 for student consession instead. its a damn nice place. but i got pretty freaked out by the lightings there. you people should visit that place soon. ((: the artifacts there are like real awesome lah. love my lovely cousin. im gna make her a nhand made big bdae card.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!

my throat is being the worst motherfucker ever on earth again. sheebai. knn. but i wna eat durian!! arghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-17T13:38:00.005+08:00

in class today. hahah! was awesome. another faci, victor (the one that say i look like i sell beer) came in again to stand in for our faci. hahaha! nice((: and to add on to more we orderes kfc for lunch! whooohooo. haha!

ive decided to dig out all the old photos. haha! nostalgic much? haha! omgawd. eve! i havent seen her in a fucking long time. my hair! i miss the uneven length and gold colour. hahahaha! madness i tell you. i miss the good old times.

2009-07-15T13:59:00.006+08:00

i had a lovely morning. totally love the rain for once theres no sweat after walking to the station. BUT I FORGOT TO BRING MY FUCKING THERMOMETER! ccb. i walked all the way to the enterance and realise that i forgot! and ive to walk all the way back to sui! just to get it. i swear i was cursing all the way to sui! i din even realise sean walked past me. dang! arghhh. i need to activate self control.

i absolutely love my white ribbon. hahaha! sean loan it to wear to his class. haha! seanarella! wtf.

look at my 'twin'. hahah! finally found someone with the same big head as me! whooohooo! haha! love kingston long long time. a song was stuck in my brain for the entire day. im lazy to find the video on youtube so heres the lyrics. dance with the devil by breaking benjamin

Here I stand, helpless and left for dead

Close your eyes, so many days go by
Easy to find what's wrong
Harder to find what's right

I believe in you
I can show you that I can see right through
All your empty lies, I won't stay long
In this world so wrong

Say goodbye,
As we dance with the devil tonight
Don't you dare look at him in the eye
As we dance with the devil tonight

Trembling, crawling across my skin
Feeding your cold, dead eyes
Stealing the life of mine

I believe in you
I can show you that I can see right through
All your empty lies, I won't last long
In this world so wrong

Say goodbye,
As we dance with the devil tonight
Don't you dare look at him in the eye
As we dance with the devil tonight

Hold on
Hold on

Say goodbye,
As we dance with the devil tonight
Don't you dare look at him in the eye
As we dance with the devil tonight

Hold on
Hold on

Goodbye

our first and last love.. is self love. i think this is the nicest thing fb told me so far.

2009-07-14T22:36:00.002+08:00

im bored and dying. so now for random shit.

i think ive the biggest head ever on earth.
my hands and feet aare like in the wrong proportion.
my brack hair makes me look like a tweet.
i love wearing big big tops and look like im potato sag
i totally love bangles
and big colourful ribbons
and hairbands. cb my hair not long enough for headband lah.
i always get headache and backaches. now im wondering if im growing old alr.
ive weird sleeping position
i hate girls that stare at me like as if i come form outer space.

and many more. to be continued....

2009-07-14T13:38:00.002+08:00

so much going on. i dont think i can handle all the shit that is going around anymore. the morning sun just depresses me more. everyday when the sun rises its another day ive to handle. deep in me i just dont want the morning to come. funny how everyone thinks that morning sun symbolises hope. but not to me.

the past has been haunting me. althouh ive been telling people that im gna try leaving things behind and move on but its not as easy as it seems. theres too much to let go. im haunted by the past. what can i do to chase the ghosts of the past away?

i miss you. badly. what am i without you. its just like candy without sugar. im just a persn without the skeleton inside. you left me there alone bleeding. from the start when everyone tell us its not meant to be, we went against it. i dont know what went wrong o im still blaming myself for what has happened. if i havent appeared in your life maybe things will be much more easier. when you went away the damage is much worst than i thought. the places that brings back that inch of nostalgia. its too much to handle. youve moved on (or so i think) im still holding on to nothing.

and again i need to do smth to my hair soon. my bangsare over growing.

2009-07-13T22:12:00.002+08:00

and so i rushed off after school to go home. mom called me in class and tell me dad decided to take us out for dinner for her bdae. NO TIME TO CHANGE so i wore the same thing and stole mom's gucci handbag. haha! shes in a good mood so i din get any scoulding! yay! love mom long time.

the happy birthday mom!

okay. he tried do entertain while waiting for food to be serve.

look at that serving of turtle soup!

sis and i got bored and started to cam whore! whoohoo. i love tnight. bought satay home.

2009-07-13T13:43:00.002+08:00

mum decided to pop by the hokkaido food fair over at tampines ytd. but we headed over to compasspoint first, theres another food fair over there, and we got authentic kimchi there! yummy!

sis and i got bored and we decided to cam whore around. haha. the rest are like ugly im not gna post it up. haha! i tell you that place was FLOODED with pple. me and sis was like squashed lah. knn. but the food here rocks lah! know the ready-to-eat-scallop-thing? mum bought a whole lot that worth 145 bucks! mad woman.

too bored in class ive decided to change my blog skin and stsrt on twitter. muahahaha! kill me love.

meeting mum and all later for her bdae celebraion! LOVE YOU LONG TIME MUMMY. XOXO

2009-07-11T22:16:00.006+08:00

look at that massive amount of tao huay! its a fucking $5.90 man!

the rest of these is taken at buddy haogies and the toliet. omfg. only best friends will end up wearing the same type of clothes in the same colour tone without arranging. omg. lurbxzxzxz her long time!

i back to blogger for now. but live journal is still one. i'll update once in awhile.

next week is gna be damn hectic. sch. ut and work. arghhhhh. bth!!!

2009-07-08T09:32:00.002+08:00

http://samesideoflife.livejournal.com/ im mving over to there for the time being.

2009-07-06T21:08:00.003+08:00

my health is finally on the verge of recovering. but there are diet restrictions that i dont like. irritating much like no milk product, no spicy food, no fried food. wahlauuuuu. no life sial! madness i tell you. nvm nvm i just need to survive the next few days.

omfg! im tired agn.

2009-07-05T22:56:00.002+08:00

THIS IS THE FUCKING SEX. OMGAWD. PEOPLE PLEASE WATCH IT!

so recently ive been bed-ridden dued to my horrible stomach and gastric. and just earlier on today i think i had diarrhoea more than 10times. knn my ass on fire alr. and like im not suppose to eat anything else other than porridge and bread. i dont even know if i can go sch tmr. and im craving for the fried bee hoon at sch. arghhh.

2009-07-04T18:45:00.002+08:00

expired photos from gelare on thurs day. there are many more but im lazy to slowly upload them.

and im officiallt sick. okay not H1N1 but im down with gastric flu. knnbccb. arghhhhh.

*i promise to blog properly soon.

weakkkkkkkkkk.

2009-07-02T12:24:00.003+08:00

OMFG! note the height difference. i feel like a dwaf.. damn it.

2009-07-01T20:43:00.002+08:00

and so finally its the last day of the stupid elearning shit. oh thank god. i cant wait for school tmr. anymore staying at home i think algae will start growing on me. :x

so i literally spent the day sleeping away. went out with mum in the evening to shop a lil. but ended up sending quite alot on bodyshop.. omgawdddddd.

2009-06-30T23:20:00.002+08:00

i miss the girls loads. cant wait for sch to start.

SOMEDAY I'LL GROW TALL.

i promise to start bloggong agn. when sch start.

KNNBCCB IM LIKE TALKING TO WALL.

2009-06-28T21:20:00.003+08:00

You're the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'Cause you have that effect on me, you do

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

Months going strong now, and no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me, I love you harder so

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal the heart
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh and everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, just take my hand.

omfg. my current obsession. im deeply in love. omfg. hahah.

AND IM SICK AND TIRED OF STAYING HOME.

SCREW IT.

2009-06-26T15:57:00.002+08:00

i hating this more and more everyday.

GO GO GO AHEAD AND SIDE HER. I DONT FXCKIGN CARE. YOU MEANT NTH TO ME ANYMORE. IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF FIGHTING WITH YOU. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT NOW. AND SOON YOU'LL PAY THE PRICE FOR MAKING ME CRY EVERYNIGHT.

I HAD ENOUGH.

2009-06-24T21:54:00.004+08:00

KNNBCCB. ANOTHER TIME YOU SCREAM AT ME FOR NO FUVKING REASON IAM GOING TO FUCKING PACK MY BAG AND FUCKING RUN AWAY FROM THIS FUCKING HOME. IM NOT BORN TO LET YOU VENT YOUR ANGER ON. FUCK. THE REASON WHY IAM STILL FUCKING HOLDING BACK ITS BECAUSE I HAVE VERY LEAST THE FUCKING RESPECT FOR YOU. ITS YOUR OWN DAMN FUCKING PROBLEM IF YOURE NOT HAPPY WITH ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON BUT DO NOT FUCKING VENT YOUR FUCKING ANGER ON ME.

AND YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO FUCKING CONTROL ME. THINGS WILL ONLY TURN OUT EVEN WORST. IF YOU WNA SEE THAT THEN GO AHEAD. IM NOT FUCKING STOPING YOU FORM CONTROLLING ME. MAYBE YOU NEED TO FUCKING REFRESH YOUR FUCKING MEMORY ABOUT WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED BEFORE. AND IF THIS CARRY ON, IM PREDICTING IN ANOTHER FUCKING THREE DAYS TIME I'LL BE MOVING INTO SOMEBODY'S ELSES PLACE. I KNOW YOURE SO HOPING TO SEE THAT.

SO FUCKING KEEP YOUR GODDAMN PMS YOURSELF. IF YOU WANT YOU CAN PRAY THAT YOUR NEXT LIFE YOU'LL BE BORN A MAN.

KNNBCCB. FUCKING CB. CCB. FUCK. FUCK OFF FAR FAR YOU BLOODY BITCH.

2009-06-24T13:49:00.002+08:00

the quarrels last night was over-whelming. the entire thing sparkle off with the loud bang on the table. and followed by the screams. guess it was lucky that no one called the police. sets me wondering again does love really exist after marriage. no wonder im never one that was into the entire marriage thing.

TO THE BOTH OF YOU.

i need my sleep. dont scream at night. you can do it in the day when im not around.
dont scream in front of sis. she is too young to understand the entire thing.
im tired of the entire thing.
why is it money the only thing you pple quarrel about!
bye.

so now. somebody tell me what love ACTUALLY is. ive gone through alot i think. after the 5 stitches they tried communicating with me. to the extent they wna send me to counselling. im not mad! its too late havent you realise? all that you all tried to make up for the past. its irritating. very. i dont like talking to you so-called-adults. wtf! so piss off.

to my love ones.

i know its not easy talking to me. im so hard headed that nth goes into my brain. but i still love you all for being there for me. love you all long time.

MY BFF SANNNNDRAGON.

i cant wait to meet you! i need the bitching sesssion. and pigging out session. miss you long time love!

TAKE ME IN.

2009-06-24T13:44:00.002+08:00

The power lines went out
And I am all alone
But I don’t really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn’t finish what you started
Only darkness still remains

Lost sight
Couldn’t see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright

Been black and blue before
There’s no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback’s such a waste
You’re invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face

Lost sight
Couldn’t see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright

One day
You will wake up
With nothing but “you’re sorrys”
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright

so now isit hey monday or paramore?

LIFE((:

2009-06-23T14:40:00.007+08:00

I WANT

A NEW ESPIRT WATCH

GUCCI FLORA PERFUME

NEW BFF BAG

FIX MY PHONE

GET EXTENTIONS. PROBABLY REDDDD.

im so tired.eben thou im not working the entire week. sch is really draining the shit out of me. alarm ringing at 6.40am every morning. rush thru my makeup. and hating the heat in the morning. meeting girlfriends for breaky. and horrible school starts.

i miss my BFF lotssss. cant wait for outing soon. theres so much catching up to do and shopping to be done. and there might be another bff bag!! zomg!!!

LAST NIGHT.

mum was whinning about her sunburn.
sis stole my moisturiser for the sunburn on her face.
dad and mum quarrelled while i was webcaming with jeremy.
there was no supper for me.
decided that its time for me to clear my bin.
found my liquid eye liner under it.
decided to read my book.
and i fell aslp while i was reading. (at least i finished 10 pages i think.)

TONIGHT.

I DONT WNA SEE MUM AND DAD QUARREL AGN.
i must clear the mess on my study chair.
throw away all the rubbish lying arnd.
i need to get a new bottle of choya to replace the one i finished.
i'll finish my rj quickly
watch prison break and csi miami with mum
do mum's pedicure.
maybe i'll re-paint my nails.
and read my book.

SO MANY THINGS TO DO AND THERES ONLY 24HOURS IN A DAY. NOT ENOUGHHHH.

MISSSSSSS.

2009-06-22T23:16:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA. i hope he dont see this!!! see my lovely little small headed big body jeremyyyyyyy. hahaha!! aww man i miss his emo hairrrrrrr. hahaha!!! he NEED to slim down! and tell me is he mad or what. he wants to freaking keep a fresh water stinray in his house. madnessss. ohmygawd. i miss rotting on his sofa. haha! and he is the only one that gave me the biggest blue brack on earth!!!!!! i swear it stayed on for more than a week!!

FINALLY.

2009-06-22T15:07:00.001+08:00

FINALLY LOUISA HAS THE URGE OF GETTING INKED. HAHAHA. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE MY 18TH IS NEAR. MUAHAHAHAHA.

BRACKKKKKKKKKKKK COLOURRRRRR.

2009-06-22T11:20:00.004+08:00

so me and zy and followed ny ranjini went to the toliet and we decide to camwhore in the toliet. hahaha!! omgggggggggg. im starting to like my new hair colour!! ITS BRACKKKKKKK. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH. its brack now i can put all sort of colour hairband on my head. hahah!! muahahaha.

think im the happiest kid on earth. hahaha!! okay i shant be a bimbo and start talking about how lovely my love is. haha. there are times when its bad also.

i cant wait to meet up with the pple i missed. omg!! which includes.. myra love! joey the tally! sandra my lovely BFF(pinic this weekend love!) BREAST FREIND. omggg. missssssssyyyy you people lotssss!!

2009-06-21T18:35:00.002+08:00

ACTUALLY IT DONT LOOK THAT BAD RIGHTTTTT. IM STARTING TO LOVE IT ALR.

CHEEEEEEEEEBAIIIII

2009-06-20T18:41:00.002+08:00

WELCOME THIS NEW JAP-DOLL LOOK ALIKE. SEE THE DIFFERENCE? mum says i look more like a proper person now. OMG.

I PROMISE NEVER TO DO ANYTHING STUPID TO MY HAIR ANYMORE.

2009-06-19T22:25:00.002+08:00

on tk's car to causeway for pastamania((: camwhore!! love the girls((: aww man! wheres ranjini??

I WANT

COLOUR MY HAIR BACK TO JET BLACK
AND LOOK LIKE A CHINA DOLL INSTEAD OF A AHLIAN.

I HATE

THAT AH LIAN FACE OF MINE
MY SUPER BIG HEAD

AND FINALLY A PAY INCREASE 10BUCKS AN HOUR. IM SO LOVED((:

expired photos.

2009-06-18T13:41:00.003+08:00

i got bored in class when the thers was presenting..

i dont wna wish upon a star.

2009-06-17T14:04:00.000+08:00

vous m'avez laissé cassé de nouveau

boredom in class((:

2009-06-17T10:53:00.001+08:00

from me((:

2009-06-16T14:55:00.001+08:00

BLESSINGS((:

2009-06-16T14:04:00.004+08:00

being ale to get married is definetly a blessing. making a effort to make the marriage last forever is another greatest thing. but then agn nothing last forever.

2009-06-15T15:17:00.001+08:00

at the end of the day, im still home.

you dont know how much i love you.

SUGAR((:

2009-06-15T09:59:00.003+08:00

SATURDAY WAS AWESOME. work at 8am witht the awesome bunch of people. followed by a meet up with joey. and sakura buffet in town with fam. fucking awesome i tell you. celebrate baby cousin's bdae there! the crew was nice enough to play the birthday song for us. ((:

gng through a pretty tough week was more than enough. im over it. thanks fior the ones that was there with me thru out. hahaha.

im like the luckiest girl on earth. so blessed. with so many pple loving me. whats there to hate about.

2009-06-12T22:46:00.002+08:00

feels weird when i cant do anything to help my friend in need. one who was always there when i need but i can do nth to even cheer him up. damn.

at times i really wonder what love is. dont pple always say love is the greatet thing on earth that make the world go round? is it true? ive been hurt so many times i dont wna get hurt agn. even now, im blessed that youre at my side but sometimes i cant help but to doubt my feelings. im sorry love.

somrthing that i can really say now is i do love my mum no matter how tough things can get between us. i know what she did was for my sake. just that the way she express her love is different. a friend asked me what was the greatest thing my mum did that i'll never forget. i shall not mention my answer here. but she forgives me everytime i make a deadly mistake. ever giving up on me. accepting who i am deep inside. love you more than anything else in the world. x.

bored to the fucking max.

2009-06-10T22:40:00.002+08:00

HEEEEEEE. ehhhh mummy and god mummy hint hint!!! you know what to do on my 18th birthday im not asking alot.. right?!?!?!

i hate the hols. ccb.

I WISH YOU KNEW.

2009-06-08T21:54:00.003+08:00

stupid ce trip. waste time. now my leg pain. cb sial. dinner is awesome with tk. kingston and david. zy gta leave bfore dinner :(( mr curry!! i like the white mascort there.

tmr!!
swimming session. i need to excerise. fat alr. and work in the evening. can die.

sunday blues.

2009-06-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

hate sundays!!

HAAPY PILL((:

2009-06-05T22:20:00.003+08:00

exhasuted but happy((: im sick. still coughing like fuck. love my happy pill, never fail to make my day. hahaha!! love you long time friend.

outing to sentosa ytd with girlfriends. photos will be uploaded soon((; bedah saved my life! okay im a clown forgot to bring everything that is important. luckily shes working at habourfront!! phew! havent seen her in awhile thou. i wonder if she is eating correctly, skinny sial.

im tired already. work tmr. nights^^

2009-06-02T22:56:00.002+08:00

okay and so i havent blogged in awhile. firstly louisa is sick. bad bad. bad throat. block nose. and i think im runnong a temperature now. i still refuse to see any doctors i had enough of my fair share of medications.

i just read his blog. pkay.. the only word that i can think of now. so now its smth like lock up huh. i dont hate you. i dont at all. i just hate the fights you have with M. i never will understand what is going on btwn you two. but know whar, i still care, if you ever need me again im here okay. my number you know. im only a phone call away.

schs out. boring shit. cannot imagine how im gna bump aronud at home and do nothing. SIGH. cant wait for sch to start((; oh well on the bright side, theres tekong trip tmr!! xoxo. the sucky part is that ive to wear long pants = jeans. damnit!! cb!! they think tekong fully airon ah!! CBBBB.

ignorance is bliss

2009-05-30T23:26:00.001+08:00

its out people! omg! i cant wait! ZOMG!

2009-05-30T22:23:00.002+08:00

i hate seeing my friend in misery. makes me feel very helpless and useless. its not easy coming this entire way. dont lose it now. i know i suck at all the shit. i'll be there to listen.

i think i woke up way tooo early for work. supposed to start at 8am i was there at 7.40pm. damn. thats way too early. *im usually late on saturday mornings* boss was in a good mood which meant no thrashing from him ((:

for the last two sats it was spent with joey. love her long time!! xoxo

2009-05-28T13:19:00.002+08:00

walking down a particular lane down yishun the other day brought back much memories. i miss the people. lepaking outside gv's burger king. the mac outside sch. the moments busing home from sch. eating ban mian with joey until we couldnt walk to the bus interchange. the random conflicts and fight in sch. all the way i took to avoid getting my hair caught from muthu. the long detention sessions. the praises from miss moh. the fights we get into while planning events. the scoulding and screams during events. i miss just everything.

if i had the chance to do it all over again, i would do it differently.
but thats the thing about life, you dont get a second chance in life.

2009-05-27T11:41:00.004+08:00

when ure bored in class and waiting for 6p you do stupid things.

my group for the day((: went for smoke break tgt. its like the entire group is made up of smoker lah. hahaha.

2009-05-25T14:10:00.006+08:00

the toliet times.

the bitches((:

zy and jini.

cam whore cam whore.
ive no idea who the hell is the grey girl dehind.

jini bhind the curtain.

photography!!

we all like the by-the-window shots.

no emo shots?

another by-the-wundow shot

by the window again.

the museum is the best place for photgraphy.

i like this one.

happy shot

strongly depressed.

at the living galleries.

we did the camera timer thing.

the two staircase shots.

i give up capping every photo. tired sial.

2009-05-23T23:16:00.002+08:00

am i really happy when theres a smile on my face? i dont like faking a smile in front of pple. decided to lock myself in for the time being while i think of my actions. im tired really. tired from being someone else and its just not me.

photos of the museum trip will be uploaded on monday on my blog. and ive bangs now.

2009-05-22T13:58:00.002+08:00

photospammmmmssss. im seem happier? i think its rather i tend not to think about stuffs around people. its like if the people aroind me knows more than i know myself, i feel insecure. o dont like having the feeling of being exposed.